I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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