My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Randomize
