i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
