Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
