how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize
