Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
