I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
