He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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