..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
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