he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
