i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Randomize
