She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Randomize
