And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Randomize
