I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
