I feel like I'm in dance class right now
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
