There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
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