It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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