I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
