You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
