I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
tell me about the fingering
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
