K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
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