Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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