Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
