Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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