she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
