just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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