My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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