have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
