my phone needs a breathalizer
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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