I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
zippers are such a cool invention
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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