dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Randomize
