Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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