You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
