It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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