Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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