i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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