my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
