I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
