So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
Redeem this text for a blowjob
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
