So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
