I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
