the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
