ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
