and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
