i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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