some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
