my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Randomize