Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
I touched a dick in church today
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
