If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
