We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
not ubering you a puppy
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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