Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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