Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
it's great music for shaving your balls
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
