playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
